TWRUFC 1st XV 59 vs Cranbrook II 29

10th Jan 2026, KO 14:00

Cranbrook II - Home

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Match Report

Back top of the League to start 2026!!!!!

In a fixture which during the weeks build up, no person expected to happen thanks to the sheer amount of rainfall, ice and snow experienced since Monday morning, against all odds the boys came out victorious. A 10am pitch inspection confirmed it was game on and as the Cranbrook boys began their decent into farmers country, much of our squad like me scrambled to chuck kit together after reading the game on message from Neil. A notable mention goes out to Guy Williamson who really had to scramble for finding kit after somehow misplacing his entire bag after the Snowdown game.

Sun shone bright in the sky as the boys started to arrive and you’d be hard pressed to believe it was a January afternoon. After a quick and intense warm up the boys returned to the sheds to get kitted up in playing shirts before taking to the field ready for a hard 80 minutes of rugby to burn off all those extra mince pies and baileys over the Christmas period.

The Ash boys’ side was yet again arguably stranger compared to what it usually is with the likes of Kieran Munn-Hollands and Daniel Norman aka Bok retaining their positions in the back line at 10, and 13 respectively. Also the welcome return of Harry Hopkins to his primal position at 9 meant that it was bullet pass central off the base of rucks and scrums, the return of Ash’s sexiest man, gorgeous George Kelsey in at 12 with a strapped up thumb meant that the teams sex appeal was immediately heightened, and Radbourne re-joining his regular pack members back in at second row alongside Jimmy O strengthened the front 8. From the first kick off it was evident to see both teams were up for a good fight with some big hits going in early, we had a game on our hands.

Ash capitalised on game plan and on playing on their evident strengths. Somehow after not touching a ball or training/ playing as a squad for well over 3 weeks the boys’ hands were as sticky as a spider and the offloads were silky smooth. As I say Ash capitalized on this playing the quick offload game rarely heading to the ground always staying on the feet even the front rows, and the likes of the old men like Crumpy (and Jimmy) were playing some NBA level passes just maybe not to fin from jimmy (if you know you know). The centre pairing work phenomenally drawing men and dodging and weaving past red shirts like they were nothing, wide balls went far and quick creating space for the wingers to open the gas tank and sprint.

The Half backs played well with Harry Hop giving solid passes all day long and Kieran (Jack-of-all-trades-master-of-none) Munn-Holland learning from his mistakes at Snowdown by sitting deeper giving himself more time to think and play the ball he wanted to. He truly emanated what it is to be a 10 cool, calm and composed. The forwards continued to do the dirty work making hits and spoiling Cranbrook’s only game plan which was use the 5 and the 8 to crash up the field all day. They scrummed dominantly even though the flankers needed to be taught at half tm that to be bound at a scrum your shoulder needs to be bound you can’t just hang off the side. Lineouts were squeaky clean with a solid base and Dec and Guy jumping and securing decent put ins from Sam Gunter in at number 2. This was not a team that looked rusty at all, this was a team with ambition, fight and determination to tear up a storm.

It didn’t take long for tries to begin flowing. The first of which came from a well-placed corner kick from 10 Kieran and a well-formed and carried out driving maul from a lineout the ball making its way to the back of the maul and in the hands of Sam Gunter who scored peeling around the side. Or did he? That was the big debate of the evening Jimmy O also had hands on, and the picture evidence is certainly unclear. To settle this debate, we will be having a polling box at our next home game on the (24th January, make sure to place them votes and see who gets the immortal credit).

As I mentioned this was only the start of a trickling effect of great play with tries being run in form over halfway with slick footwork and perfectly timed and executed passes. One from a run from Radbourne smoothly popped off to Jimmy where he crossed the line apparently “aggressively power walking” (~quoted by swifty) , a second from a terrific run by George Kelsey “keeping it lemon” over the try line (~also quoted by swifty) shortly followed up by a second for our very own voted Kent rural league’s sexiest man which arguably goes down as jug avoidance for not completing the hat-trick – a case for the social committee I think - , another from a cheetah like Brad Nash and possibly most notably a wide ball to young Lewis Hopkins who took on the defender in a chip-and-chase style play leaving the defence for dust and running the first try of his senior career and a beautiful one at that, a truly special moment.

The valiant Ash squad carried this form until the 40-minute mark where emotions were high and reality was brought back down to earth by wise words from the coaches, reminding the boys that even with a 40-0 lead at half time, the second half was an entirely new game.

Top tip listen to your coaches because apparently they do know what they’re saying sometimes as despite a quick run away try from Sam at the start of the second half where he crossed the line “puffing from his arse after running his try from Westwood Cross, beating 74 defenders and fending off an albatross…” (~yet another quote from swifty), cheers for making that head even bigger by boosting his ego which nobody needed. This was soon followed by another run in from Dec another first for his Ash R.F.C. career, this one of the easier conversions right under the posts and so quick thinking Kieran Mun-Holland quickly claimed the tee lined up and was ready to claim his second conversion of the day and boost those personal point count goals, he didn’t however account for hitting it like his driver slicing it right of the post and almost hitting the horse field in the process. Dec was then subbed off for Joey (Hinge) Hales to take to the field for another unexpected week, many more changes came in the next 10 to 20 minutes seeing the departure of the likes of Fin Parfitt, Sam Gunter and Jimmy O and Joey Hales back off again, allowing all members of the match day squad to get a good run out. But all the fun and games soon came to a halt. Cranbrook came back at the boys hard and enraged for revenge. They sunk 4 unanswered tries and 29 points in quick succession capitalising on the loss of structure from the green and whites and the cold new shoulders (That’s the coach cold truth I was talking about). Their effort was valiant and amazing to witness from the opposition, but it just wasn’t enough to chase the already monster scoreline.

In an almost perfect ending skipper Radbourne ran one last score in converted by young Lewis Hopkins for another first in his promising career.

Some incredible rugby played by both sides and some of the only rugby in the county for that matter, massive thanks to the travelling Cranbrook and good luck for this tail end of your season. A big thankyou as well to Tayberry’s for making and serving our post-match carbonara (one of the best you’ve pulled out yet), and a massive amount of love as always to the supporters standing on that touchline wind, rain or shine you really become that 16th man for us players.

And a massive congratulations to the players we go back to top of the league with this one just where we belong. Rest up and we now look on to Tunbridge Wells at home on the 24th of January 2026 in 2 weeks’ time.

MOTM: Steve Crump (Immense shift) – Drink nominated to George Kelsey

DOTD: Harry Hopkins (Just reverting to his old ways as a 9)

Tries: George Kelsey (2), Jimmy Osborn, Sam Gunter, Lewis Hopkins, Dec Quincey, Brad-Lee Nash, Matthew Radbourne, One un-decided try (Sam or Jimmy)

Conversions: George Kelsey (5), Kieran Munn-Hollands (1), Lewis Hopkins (1)